Last night, as my body began to struggle with a reaction, I was coughing and clearing, my lungs revolting against something (or maybe I should say my lungs were valiantly showing up for me) I found myself needing more air than the house had to offer. I dashed out the back door pacing and gasping for reprieve. It was dark as I found myself standing barefoot in the grass, feet sinking into the moisture. My movements making squish sounds beneath me. I thought about the concept of earthing and maybe the recent gully washer rain made the ground soft and pliable just for me.
Just yesterday, I looked 10 feet from this spot to find a little tree holding a beautiful little nest with three blue Robin eggs and 10 feet from the tree was the one vibrant red poppy bloom. In 20 feet even In the darkness I could sense the little eggs and the flower.

4 things.

4 little things.

But those 4 things were like the four corners of the Earth (north south east west) pulling up at the edges of the world; pulling up the edges of me.

Resolved. Stoic. Sweet. Committed.
They seemed to wrap me up in safety.

There was a harshness experienced in my body… but such softness in my mind as I accepted the safety amidst the struggle.


I am safe even if I must go from here.
And I am safe if I am meant to stay.


I heard my husband open the door and say “honey, here’s a glass of water if you need it”.

I drank.
And somehow I knew I was meant to stay.

🪺🌺