Posted on

To what am I giving consent?

Every Wednesday morning I have a guitar lesson. Throughout our lesson and practice, my teacher and I have the best conversations. (My teacher also happens to be my oldest son Jordan) Today we talked a lot about our personal responsibility in our relationships and what part we bring to the “relationship table”. How does our mindset color the interaction?
I think I’m finally *beginning* to understand Eleanor Roosevelt’s statement

“no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

ūüė≤¬†
What we BELIEVE, we focus on. What we FOCUS on, we FIND.
In business, we understand goals, focus and mindsets and how it impacts outcomes, but sometimes relationships are the last frontier of our mindset implementations.
If I enter interactions with others with the mindset that I am not good enough, not loved, not appreciated, chances are, something will be said to validate that belief. It’s as if I’ve set up everything in advance. I’ve set the table. I’ve prepared the dinner. Why am I surprised at what I see before me?
BUT…
If I enter interactions with others with a mindset of receiving and reciprocating wholeness and generosity, acceptance and love, chances are the interaction will validate that belief. I’m thinking it’s some kind of law of expectation, like sowing and reaping. This one rings out “believing leads to seeing”.
It seems we could become addicted to self-deprecating thoughts, or at least accustomed to this common exchange. Consistently needing someone else to rescue us out of our negative mantras is a sad kind of relationship, but a common one.  Outside influences are not meant to shape us. Brene Brown says,

¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†‚ÄúStop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don‚Äôt belong. You will always find it because you‚Äôve made that your mission. Stop scouring people‚Äôs faces for evidence that you‚Äôre not enough. You will always find it because you‚Äôve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don‚Äôt negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.‚Ä̬†
~Brene Brown, Braving the Wilderness

When I have thoughts that deter me from thinking the best of someone (including myself), I immediately bring a picture to my mind- it’s meditation, visualization and prayer.
large
I imagine I’m high on a precipice. The expanse is alone impressive but mixed with an evening glow of sunset, I’m in silent reverence.¬† The clouds are moving quickly and I instantly feel more alive. A burst of joy and gratitude falls down my cheeks. The wind is whipping strong and I smile at the invisible force dancing in patterns around me. Previous thought-weights dissipate like smoke. It’s magic here. My arms are outstretched in acceptance and also in surrender. I appear to be standing alone, but I feel the opposite of lonely. I am present to all that I am meant to be.
Here, there are no teeth behind the lion’s roar, only God’s light and presence traveling in and through, out and in with the wind. A faint sprinkle falls from the sky and in the distance the sound of a storm approaches. Cool air rushes by reminding me of life. Change. Color.

Everything is forever yet fleeting.

The world of paradox makes sense in this place. I feel like a sponge newly soaked in truth.
Yes, I will be called away from this precipice to the valley below. My body will walk the path back down; my bare feet on soil mirroring heaven and earth. But something remains. A hint of the wind lingers in my hair. And when I see another soul, my eyes believe that they can see it, hear it, smell it. I look for the whole in them, not the part. This is the power of belief. I bring —this—into every interaction that follows.
I’m thinking about Eleanor’s quote.
To what am I giving consent?
Posted on

love- volatile and safe, adventure and surrender, noun and verb, concrete and abstract, sharp and kind

IMG_1012

I can’t remember a time that I didn’t believe there was a world more real than the one we see. But today I feel it more surely, like knowing the waxing and waning schedule of the moon, never doubting how it will brighten the night sky. We wait expectantly. I believe LOVE¬†is much the same. Even in our darkest, doubtful, dreadful moments we give a silent nod of respect to this foundation called LOVE. We can’t ignore it. We crave it. We want to understand but also to be understood. We’re wired with tenacity and curiosity, belief and hope that we can go deeper still as the divine voice faintly sings something familiar and we forge ahead to get¬†closer to the LOVE source.

LOVE is that subtle but sure foundation that causes us to believe and pursue the best in us. We seek while also wanting to be found. Love keeps us curious and busy roaming back roads forgotten. It keeps us searching for poetry, writing new (and old) lyrics, looking with longing eyes to the places all around and within that we know can and should be redeemed. It compels us to give weight to whispers, nudges and inklings not fully understood but heard in our soul. It brings a song in the night. LOVE truly is beautifully breathtaking.

LOVE, and the pursuit of living love fully, pushes us past our perceived boundaries, surprising even our own selves in a moment’s notice. It’s volatile and safe, adventure and surrender, noun and verb, concrete and abstract, sharp and kind.

It is the answer to most of our questions.

Love.

Posted on

Hair-dancing

book hair

The exquisiteness¬†of a moment – ¬†(this¬†very¬†moment), stands poised and intent, waiting for my eye contact; waiting for me to see, to feel…to know it’s rarity. Anticipation is in¬†my breath.

And in that “teetering-on-the-edge”¬†split-second, I have a choice. I can numbly follow the routine, the expected, the “musts” and “have-to’s”, to give weight and value to that which takes¬†from me, or, I could go off-trail to find the soul-light I know waits for me in this yieldedness.

And I go.

I find it, full and glorious, pouring upon me like light falls into and through the small crevices between the leaves onto the forest floor. This is the very anointing I needed, but there were caveats. I had to leave mundane. I had to believe that I would see it. After all, it IS a faith journey.

The sun warms my soul and body as clouds float by like cotton candy. The gift of this day- this breath, this bite of food, this joyful thought, humbles me as I sit in the sunshine casually reading my book. I see the shadow of my hair dancing onto the page before me. I let myself go to feel the power of ONE moment and what it represents. I am alive, so fully alive!

#beautynearme