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#energygoals

girl running on the beach

If you were to describe the energy you DESIRE to bring to the world, how would you describe it? If using your senses, what would you say?

I had a clear vision for mine today.

My energy is “bright” and >>>>>LIGHT<<<<

It’s a 75 degree day at the beach. And in my magical energy place, the beach is on one end and I turn to see the Rocky mountains on the other. My energy flows and shifts from full-on “sun of the day” to the painted sunset “sky over the snow-capped peaks” kind of glow.  (This is my dream, so I’m going with it).

My energy is a fast moving sky. Electric…always interesting. It feels like warmth, like skin to skin touch with someone you love. Gentle. Assuring, but inviting you to get up and run along the ocean shore like a child in abandonment to the present moment. 🌻☀✨

This energy is like a wave in the wind, dangling like a dream catcher or a diamond-studded kite string, begging you to believe. 💎

It’s powerful like an ocean wave but then softens to the faint sound of shells colliding as they collect on shore. ⛱ In the distance a wind chime sings and everyone is playing on the shore or rocking in rocking chairs on the back porch having a meaningful chat while taking in the beauty of the sea in one direction and sunset mountains in the other.

This energy is coconut water with a hint of lime. It’s exotic fruit followed by an evening fire and warm drinks.

This energy invites every heart to burst with hope and wholeness with knowledge of being so very loved! 💞

This energy is the scent of “stress away”.  We close our eyes and exhale deeply. Salty air mixed with freshness. It soothes and awakens simultaneously. Then this energy morphs into the “fun” and “family” blend. We take it in as the evening falls.🍈🌴🌈🦋💃💕

…But most of all, this energy welcomes you in a hug and make you smile. 😋

⭐️🔥💡🌊💎 💚

What does your energy look like? Feel like? smell like? Taste like?sound like?

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Black and White

Have you ever looked at a picture in color and then looked at it in black and white? It’s startling. It’s almost as if you’re looking at a different place and time. There are contrasts in the black and white that I miss while looking at the beautiful color.

And so it is with me in my “black and white” days. These days are punctuated with great truths; exaggerated even. But they hold such a weight. Deep down, if I’m prodded and poked, I must admit, I find great value here. It’s like the “aha” moment my soul longs for, but can’t quite grasp in color.

If I’m commentating on these days, I might use words like “blah” and “bland”, “raw” and “colorless”, “overcast” and “bleak” . But then I take a look at the photo. My breath catches at the clarity that the harshness highlights. Even the grayness soothes like a cool drink to a parched soul. Comfort and proaction is here in the bright and dark.

Social injustices become startlingly clear in black and white. Someone (in full color) asks me, “What do you think about refugees?” Hmmm, so many colors and opinions  are zigzagging in and out of so many worlds and then wrapped in this colorful question.

What do I think? What do I think? I take a minute to shift from color and examine the black and white photo…and I know.

The person in front of me is the one that matters. Refugee or not, I know exactly what to do; how to love; when to take action. There are NO polarizing mantras that will sway my focus from that face; those eyes; this heart. This is what the sad gray can do.

To be honest, I wish I didn’t need it now and again to remind me of something I knew but have forgotten. But…

It reminds me that light is strong and steady.  It has power. I have power. WE have power.  Our light (and love) pierces and highlights and has a place in this world. It can be trusted. It silhouettes and focuses like none other.

It reminds me that my mundane feelings of gray (inadequate as they feel) are the backdrop to most of my life. It’s as if the sooner I appreciate gray, the more it freely gives to me. I suddenly see the grandeur in the slightest of these “shades”.

Yes, pain is evident here in the black and white, but so is the honest and brutal truth. What a gift.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Looking for Light

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I’m intrigued with light. Light changes EVERYTHING. And “people lights” are the most glorious, right? When we see/experience/witness the shining we are drawn, magnetized, intrigued. Light-living seems synonymous with loving. I guess it’s the reason we fear darkness so much. Fear and darkness are stealers and the counterparts to love and light.

Fear of darkness has always been a trojan horse. Fear makes sense sometimes but also panics our heart. Steals. Paralyzes. We might even think the solution is to run? Hide? Escape? Become a cave-dweller? All of the normal means we use to rationalize “feeling” safe seems to scream.  Understandable. And yet “Panic-mode” movement (even hibernation in response to fear) is deceiving. It’s in open, vulnerable stillness that light can take in more oxygen and burn brightly. It seems a paradox to me because darkness moves and it can surround, yet it cannot overtake or destroy light. It is limited.

People tend to move in one direction or the other. They Run or Hide. I’ve done both. This week I found myself trying to hide emotionally. I don’t want to admit that darkness is coming, has come or will come. And yet here I am, mourning. Mourning loss, feeling deep sadness and now collectively mourning with our country that people in Vegas were killed.

As the darkness approaches and overtakes us, light miraculously grows in those who carry it so bravely. Look for the light. Look for the “people lights”.

#beautynearme is the #beautyinyou

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Grace Collectors

 

As I roamed the cemetery reading the names and dates, sayings and commentaries… I stumbled across this inscription. “She was too good, too gentle and Fair To dwell in this cold world.” Someone lost someone dear. Their tears probably fell into the very earth I stood upon as I read the lines.

I have a theory that pain experiences create vacant wells within us. Pain vacancies are cavernous, hollow tombs, longing to be filled. Grace seems to find it way to the tomb’s door, asking for entrance. Grace is a chameleon, appearing to us based on our need. – water for our parched mouths, light in our darkness, comfort when we’re lonely, courage in our weariness. Maybe our need in itself is a grace to us, so that we will look and listen, receive and rest. When we welcome grace inside, the cold, black-and-white spaces, once horrid reminders of loss, become masterpieces in contradictions; grand paradoxes. Grace is miraculous like that.

And so, I roam the little graveyards imagining each spot as grace collectors. Tears and sorrow made way for the sacred and hopeful.  I feel respect for those who felt the pain of loss in this very spot. I don’t have to know them to honor them, They are contrasts to fast-paced, mindless living.

Cemeteries are grace collectors.

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Health Challenges & Dandelion’s Shadow

dandelion shadow

Even the dandelion’s shadow is amazing, don’t you think? But it isn’t a substance you can touch or feel, but a visual representation of the real.

The shadow causes me to look again at the flower, to see minute details I missed at first glance.

Shadows, like feelings can be magical and beautiful,  or sinister and ominous. The feelings that have accompanied this health crisis have shaken me, but also guided me to look for the SUBSTANCE that is casting this shadow. I wonder if in this confrontation, I am becoming more healthy in the way I think and the way I process.  Three truths have surfaced:

  1. We have a relationship with our body. I FEEL that my body is betraying me. This is a shadow. It SEEMS that I cannot trust my body. (so ominous). I woke Saturday morning with a clarity and a challenge. I am being called to change what I believe. I am now accepting this truth- my body is trying to RIGHT itself. It is pursuing balance. I am CHOOSING to believe that these issues (while extremely painful) are allowing me to understand something crucial about what MY body needs, thus allowing me to choose in an enlightened way. What if in this knowledge, I am fueling my body with what it needs to fight an even bigger demon? What if this is FOR me? That is what I’m choosing to accept, knowing my body was created to heal itself. I choose to trust that my body is doing something marvelous. This is in essence, choosing GRATITUDE.
  2. We are intertwined. Our body is not disconnected from our spiritual and mental lives. Our spiritual and mental states affect our body and vice versa. I do not say this lightly. We all know it to be true (ask the cardiologist about the stress factor), but when in a physical challenge, believing this truth can feel incriminating. I am not perpetuating that we wallow in guilt and blame, but I am considering this an opportunity to be open to let this “body challenge” teach me in my spiritual, emotional and mental attitudes.  How can I think more WHOLLY? How can I trust more FULLY? How can I love more DEEPLY?
  3. The identity that I accept, matters. All of us have been “defined” in a neat little box by someone, somewhere in our past. Depending on our family of origin and who we were compared to, we were “identified” in categories. This happens, initially, so innocently. Maybe you have been identified in comparison to your siblings, or community, or giftedness, or ineptness. The problem is that “comparison identification” is an ENEMY. Who are you created to BE? What are your PASSIONS? GIFTS? CALLINGS? PURPOSE? This is the digging that we must do as adults. These are the things that we must let identify us….NOT a “weak” body, NOT a “bad decision” as a teenager, NOT our “failures”!!!!! What is said about us by others is not our identity. Most recently I realize I will not, I must not, accept my body’s perceived weaknesses as part of my identity. What label should you reject?

Like anyone who’s life has been rocked, I am looking for equilibrium. I don’t know all of the “whys” and “hows” of this situation but I’m always looking for the light and love, growth and joy, even in the shadows.

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I wrote this and have waited a few days to publish. Yesterday (5.10) my friend Bethany Crawford compiled and sent a video of some of my friends sending affirmations to me. It was life-altering, divine, needed and accepted with gratitude. I wish to give this gift of love to everyone I know. It has inspired me to carry these truth-thoughts with me, and then to give liberally the affirmations I see in others.

There is beauty in the flower AND in the shadow.

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Christmas had come.

As beautiful as they are, starry nights and morning dew cannot hold back this fatal grip.

christmas night

Death had been marching for centuries and nearing. Closer and closer he came, bringing a change in the air. The creatures could feel the clamminess and scurried in a frenzy of fear.  The day, the season, the desire, none of this mattered.  They knew death was no respecter of status, age and goodness. Even Earth would become victim.

And so it was that starry night.  Earth groaned and then paled. The chill in the air mirrored the rigid, feeble movements. Only a raspy breath could be heard.  The dark pronounced judgment and the words thundered and echoed through the forests and deserts, “It’s almost over. It’s almost over.”  Then stillness and silence.  Death, in the cloak of darkness, loomed and came close, cradling earth’s head, hovering, waiting.

Minutes felt like eternities as all creation watched. And then it happened…the sky broke open as a light shone from above. Death cowered back in the safety of shadows. A baby cried.  Angels who had gathered  to watch now joined in celebration, and began to sing as darkness dissipated in the glorious light of Emmanuel.  Earth gasped and then breathed long, slow, deep breaths.  The fleshly, rosy color of life returned and a quaking of strength emerged from the depths.  Christmas had come.