“Nobody hangs hard times on the wall, You won’t see it in an 8 by 10,
But there’s a storm every now and then”~Love is War, American Young
In general, we don’t highlight our down days, do we? We don’t “hang hard times on the wall.” I think it’s as much self preservation as anything. We slightly gasp the air and hold our breath just hoping things will resolve. Sometimes it doesn’t. We don’t really want to have vivid memories of the moments that hurt. I’ve noticed that when things go awry, an opportunity always presents itself to me. Sometimes it’s in the form of loving unconditionally, or living and giving grace, or simply another spiritual step of trusting that God has a bigger plan. I imagine the plan is sitting among the stars, just out of my view and someday I will see it. It’s a waiting game of sorts, but I do take comfort that the plan is visible to Someone already; the maker of those stars.
This week has been a difficult one, with those I love hurting. Bethany and Eli found out the baby is no longer living. A journey through acceptance began, without thought or question. It must be something we’re born with, this desire to live in acceptance and peace. It’s the hardest kind of pain when you are helpless to help those you love. Things piled up together this week and I feel like I’ve taken an unexpected fall to the ground…and those I love need me. The wind is knocked out of me and I’m powerless. I guess I need to be here for a minute to catch my breath.
While I’m there, I’ll probably spot a beautiful rock nearby, speckled with vibrant colors and I’ll have to reach out and pick it up. Human nature, I guess? My pocket is big enough to hold the treasure. I’ll breathe deep, regain strength and stand up again. I won’t hang this rock on the wall, but my hands will rub along the rough surface and I will think “how fitting; a beautiful hurt.” It hurts because I love.