In this social media world, do you struggle with what to put “out there”? I do.

In a way, we are “connecting” with MORE people but not as deep. right? I don’t think the foundation of these relationships are different.  In face to face relationships there are several categories or levels of friendship/connection. There are who know us deeply, hear our day to day struggle and then those that just know who we are casually and say “hello” in passing. And levels in between. But the level of connection comes with 2 things.




Relationships are investments. They always have been.  There is a mutual choice involved.

The struggle of “being real” has been written about. People slamming on FB because you only see the “good”. Well, I have a different point of view on this.  I’ll give you an example. David and I were gifted with the chance to go on a cruise. This came just after he found out his job is phasing out.  We’re back from the cruise. He finished his last few days of work and is now in transition. So, I put up our cruise pictures because most people in our lives will celebrate that we were able to do something so fun. But I haven’t put out there the financial struggle and emotional hardship of what “job hunting” at 47 is like. Here’s why.

I acknowledge, It’s so much fun to celebrate with people; to cheer people on; to say “happy birthday”; to enter into the sunny day.  We can do this from a distance. Easily. So it makes sense on social media, we can throw our fun stuff out there. I love that we have the opportunity for positive interaction. But… It takes much more discipline to journey through pain with someone. When in pain, we need. There is an underlying ask. There is a level of social courtesy when you are asking for something. I think that’s why on social media, it’s difficult to share the “hard things”.  It’s not that you’re being dishonest. You’re being thoughtful.

If we throw everything out there indiscriminately, we’re asking something from casual friendships that can only come from the people who are connected deeply with us in life; who know our goals; who listen; who know our vulnerable places and fortify us with truth. This takes depth. This isn’t for the “hello” passerby’s.

This is why I don’t think it’s wrong to monitor our level of openness on social media. When we’re in a vulnerable place, it takes trust before we can open up our heart. In stating our pain to the masses, we give the option for those who do not know us, who may not have insight, to speak into our hearts.  And while it sounds like I’m a proponent of being closed-off, the opposite is true. I think we should intentionally be open-minded.  I’m placing the value on the WHO, not the WHAT. We need each other. Singular. One on one.